This weekend, I went a whole three days without wearing makeup. Now, for some of you this may seem like no big deal, for others, you may be wondering if the stress of finals has finally pushed me to the breaking point. But, I assure you that this choice was made in the healthiest of mindsets.
It all started on Thursday when I was watching missglamorazzi’s new video, Me Without Makeup. In the video, Ingrid did a whole lot of talking about how important it is to feel good about yourself, with or without makeup. As I watched her, I realized how much I didn’t feel good about myself without makeup, and how sad that made me feel.
Since I was in sixth grade, I have suffered from acne. There have been times that I have had clear skin, but mostly it’s been an endless battle. Now that I am 20 years old, I have been suffering with acne for about eight or nine years.
To be honest, dealing with acne is a pretty traumatic experience. For those of you who are blessed to have clear skin, I know that you might not be able to totally relate, but dealing with acne can be the most frustrating thing in the world. It makes you feel powerless when you don’t have control about what happens on your body.
As a perfectionist, I have always been ashamed of my acne. I never talked about it with my friends. I didn’t even like to say the word acne out loud. It just stood for everything that I hated about my appearance, and I have carried that hatred until…well…three days ago.
After watching Ingrid’s video, something just snapped in my head. I realized that it was time that I confront my acne for what it was. I have acne, and it’s a part of me, and that’s okay.
Walking out the door without concealer for the first time in eight years felt like an anxiety attack waiting to happen, but I did it. It was terrifying and awful, but I walked out the front door and kept my head up high. I hated every second of it, but I did it.
When I got back to my room later that day, I realized that I had to keep going, and I decided that I would go the whole weekend without one spec of makeup on my face, hair product in my hair, nail polish on my nails, or contacts in my eyes. I was just me, no barriers.
I’m not going to say by any means that this was an enjoyable experience because it wasn’t. I felt uncomfortable and self conscious, but now that I have reached the end of my little experiment, I am so glad that I did it.
I feel like in a way, I have come out the “acne closet”. I walked around for three days and no one made fun of my skin or told me how ugly I was. Things went on as normal. The person that was holding me back was me all along.
If any of you feel like your beauty is dependent on the makeup you put on your face, I urge you to go a day without it. Your beauty is not dependent upon what you put on your skin, but how you feel about yourself.
I can’t tell you how much these three days without makeup have changed my perception of myself. I am going to continue to push myself to be out of my comfort zone, starting with not wearing concealer anymore when I go to the gym.
Self acceptance starts in your head, and this experience has turned out to be a huge kick start towards accepting myself.