Learning to Love My Curly Hair

I used to hate my curly hair. I wanted the silky, perfect straight hair that I saw in magazines. I wanted to be able to put my hair in  a smooth high ponytail. I didn’t want frizz. I wanted sleek. I wanted the hair that everyone else had.

As a child, I never noticed my curly hair much.  It was just hair, the stuff that kept my head warm.  My mom (a curly head herself) would rangle it back into clips and hair bands, and I would whine and complain about it the whole time until she was done.


It wasn’t until I got to middle school that I started noticing that the popular girls had straight hair, and I, well, didn’t. I didn’t want to give anyone a reason to pick on me. I wanted straight hair more then anything.

When I got to eighth grade, a group of girls started bullying me. They called me frizz head.  They tortured me because of my hair. Looking back, I don’t know why my teachers never stepped in when they saw me crying in gym class. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my friends. I wasn’t confident enough to fight back, so I just retreated farther within myself.


I started asking my mom to buy me hair gel.  I would put my hair in a ponytail each and everyday, and slick it back with the gel.  My curls were gone.  I had replaced them with a frizzless ponytail of hair gel. It didn’t stop the girls from making fun of me, and they just moved on to new names to call me, but that ponytail had become my security blanket. 

I ended up going to a different high school from my tormentors, but I still stuck with my ponytail everyday for my entire freshman year of high school.  My parents told me how beautiful my curly hair was, but I wasn’t ready to give up my security blanket. 


Then sophomore year, I traded my hair gel for a hair straightener.  I straightened my hair everyday for the whole year.  People told me how beautiful my hair was when it was straight, and I started thinking straight hair was the only way I could be beautiful. I was embarrassed of my curly hair, and I was still afraid people would make fun of me like the girls in my middle school had.     


It took me until my junior year of high school, almost three and a half years later, before I was ready to face my fear and wear my hair curly again.  Eventually, slowly, I began to love my curly hair for what it is.  It’s different, and it makes me, me. (I’m not quite sure why why it was decided I should be documented with my paper cutter in the picture below…)


I still wake up some days, and my hair is a challenge.  It doesn’t want to lay right. It’s too frizzy, too flat, to curly on one side. It’s a pain, and I love it all the same.


My straight-haired older sisters always tell me how they wish for curly hair. My curly-haired friends tell me how much they wish for straight hair.  I have to wonder, why do we find it so hard to appreciate what we are born with?

I spent so long hating my curly hair, and now I look back and think how beautiful my hair looked, so why did I waste so much effort trying to change something that is a part of me?


I talk a lot about makeup and beauty on this blog, but I also want to remind everyone reading that just because makeup is so much fun to use, makeup and beauty products shouldn’t be something that we use because we think we need them to be beautiful.

There is beauty in all of us, curly haired, straight haired, or whatever.  Don’t ever let a beauty ad or another person convince you otherwise.  You are beautiful just as you are. You are all strong and wonderful.  Don’t waste your life away wishing for something that can never be because the chances are that it won’t be until you look back that you realize how beautiful you truly were.

Do you ever wish you had the opposite hair from what you actually have? Do you straighten or curl your hair on a regular basis? Do you like your hair? 


17 thoughts on “Learning to Love My Curly Hair

  1. MaryAnn Burgamy Kelly Cole March 18, 2013 / 4:16 pm

    Love your honesty and comments Sam. Keep up the great work. You are a beautiful & wonderful young lady and it is a pleasure watching you grow into a wonderful young adult.

  2. subtle dancer March 18, 2013 / 6:57 pm

    Why is it that we always want what we can’t have? My curly haired friends want straight hair, my brunette friends want to be blonde. I guess there’s a natural intrigue, wanting the opposite of whatever we have. I have super straight hair. Growing up, the straightness didn’t bother me too much. I just always wanted long hair and for most of my life I had short hair. In the past few years, I’ve enjoyed my hair being long, but I really want curly hair, or at least wavy hair – anything but super straight hair. I curl my hair a few times a week. I really do enjoy the change, having a new look. But I can’t bring myself to investing tooo much time or effort into altering my physical appearance, because I can jump in the shower and it all goes away in an instant. Lovely, thoughtful post <3

    • Samantha March 18, 2013 / 10:09 pm

      No, I can understand wanting to switch things up every once in awhile. I will straighten my hair maybe three or four times a month, but like you said, it’s a little frustrating knowing that one little hint of humidity and 20 minutes of straightening is down the drain. Keeping it natural is a lot more low maintenance. :) Thanks!

  3. stephinthescreentime March 20, 2013 / 9:22 am

    I always wanted curly hair in high school. My hair has always been straight. My mother would sometimes put it in curlers for me. We would also crimp our hair.lol Looking back I cannot believe we did that. But at the time it looked ok.:)

    • Samantha March 20, 2013 / 11:50 am

      LOL. Crimping can look pretty cute if done right! I can’t imagine the monotony of putting in hair curlers. It just seems like something that would drive me crazy.

      • stephinthescreentime March 20, 2013 / 6:49 pm

        Yes it did drive me crazy because sometimes we slept in the curlers. But, I wanted curly hair so I had to suffer through.;)

  4. iamariadne March 20, 2013 / 10:47 am

    I like this:) and seriously, your hair looks absolutely great even when it’s wild and unsymmetrical ;)

  5. makeupforredheads March 20, 2013 / 8:09 pm

    I have red hair and always wanted it to be any other colour! Not any colour in particular, just anything BUT red. When I was younger I always wanted to dye it, but my mother wouldn’t let me (haha!). But I’m glad she didn’t. As I got older I realised that it was unique, and it made me stand out from the crowd, and I don’t care what anyone else thinks of it, so now I love it and can’t imagine being anything but a red head!

    • Samantha March 20, 2013 / 8:34 pm

      It’s funny how that works, isn’t it? I remember begging my mother to let me get my hair chemically straightened, and she wouldn’t let me. Oh man, I was so mad at the time. I think as kids we are so desperate to fit in that we don’t really understand how cool it is to be an individual. I’m glad you’ve accepted your red hair. Red really is a special color. I bet you have gotten real tired of people pointing that out all the time over the years though. :)

  6. saji74 March 21, 2013 / 8:39 am

    Hey really i appreciate your honesty..and hey dat happened to me too…when all my friends started bullying me for years,I juz bought a starightner and started straightning daily at the age of 18..2years later my hair really became rough,dry,broken with lots of splits..finally I left my hair without straightning.I just started finger coil my hair and i just loved it…..I love my hair:)

    • Samantha March 22, 2013 / 10:34 am

      I’m glad you’ve gotten to the point where you can accept your hair! :)

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s