I am going to England for three months in 29 days. 29. Uh. What the hell was I thinking when I signed up for this?
Of course, I am excited. I am taking an opportunity that most people (including myself) dream about. Almost every one I tell, tells me how jealous they are, and I can’t wait to see all that there is in Europe.
But, I am totally scared to go.
On Wednesday, we had a bizarre weather day in Maryland. In the morning, it was low 60’s, breezy, and no humidity. It felt like fall – one of the perfect fall days when everyone studies outside, impromptu kickball games are started, and classes sit Indian-style on the quad instead of cramped into lecture halls. But, it was only when I started to get excited about the upcoming fall that it hit me that, I will not be here come mid-September.
I am not starting classes or moving in with my friends in two weeks. I won’t be at the dining hall when the freshman are trying to figure out where to find the silverware. I won’t be tripping over everyone in the library to find an open computer. I won’t be loading up a cart at Walmart this weekend with pencils and paper for the fall semester.
These things may sound petty to you when compared to the European adventure that I am embarking on in four weeks, but I can’t help but feel a little bit sad that I won’t be here for them.
Change is one of those things that can be a double edged sword. On one hand, you get to experience something new and exciting, and on the other you leave behind a safety net which most likely includes some of the people you love.
I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t scared to go to England. I feel butterflies in my stomach every time a plan flies overhead, thinking that in four weeks I’ll be on my own plane.
People keep asking me if I am going to England with anyone, maybe a friend or someone else from school. “Just me,” I tell them. “Just you?” they say. “Just me,” I repeat, like maybe if I say it enough times, it’ll sink in.
Of course I am excited to go to England. I get more and more excited every day, but that doesn’t mean that I am not just a little bit sad to leave some things behind. There are so many people that I will miss when I go, and the goodbyes that are soon to come are going to be tough ones.
However, if my first three years in college have taught me anything, it’s that I am stronger and braver than I ever thought I could be. I may be going to a new place for a few months, but I know I am strong enough to make it through and make the most of this incredible experience.
Even if it is just me.
Have you ever traveled to the UK? Studied abroad? What tips do you have for moving to a new place alone?