Sorry. What? Where did the past 60 days go? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was posting that I was leaving for the UK? Wasn’t it just last week that I was posting about my first day in England? It’s funny because I can remember everything so clearly like it honestly was yesterday.
I remember crying on my parent’s living room floor because my suitcase was too heavy. I remember waking up and staring at my bedroom ceiling for the last time until December, running past the library, pushing my best friend in a wheelchair in the airport because she hurt her ankle the night before.
I remember sitting on the airplane, eating my first Digestive (good cookie – bad name), walking into Tesco for the first time, laying down on my bed and realizing it is like sleeping on a rock wrapped in a tarp.
Everyone told me this would happen, that time would pass so fast, but the thing is – time has moved in such weird ways since I’ve gotten here. I’ve told my friends and family multiple times that day by day, it feels like time is moving so slowly. But, then I look back and it feels like time has slipped through my fingers.
Right now, it still feels like the same week I got here, but I have pages worth of journal entries telling me that I am wrong. And while I have counted down the days until I go home, I’m not always so thrilled to see that number getting smaller.
But while part of me is sad, knowing that I am leaving a month from now, a part of me is just happy that I came. Coming here has changed me. Being in this place, getting on that plane – suddenly, I know how much is out in the world.
In six months, I am going to graduate college and choices are going to have to be made. But unlike when I graduated high school, I am not scared of the unknown anymore.
The unknown is exciting and scary and well, life. Life is unplanned and no matter how hard we try to clamp down, life will force us to move. By coming here, I let go of a lot of things – people, places, routines. In so many ways, these things will return to me in 30 days but, in so many ways, I now know that there is so much beyond them too.
I can’t promise that I won’t be sad to leave here – I am already dreading the goodbyes – but, I can promise that I won’t forget the lessons that I have learned and I am still learning here. There have been so many of them.
Here’s to making the next 30 days worthwhile.