“Perfect” Bloggers

My life seems to be going down the tubes as of late. If you have missed the depressing post train over the past two weeks, this post is hopefully the caboose. No, no one is dead. I am not in therapy. I don’t have some disfiguring medical condition but, my life isn’t very ideal at the moment and honestly, it kind of sucks.

My hesitancy for writing about this is that it goes against my usual “keep it upbeat” blogging rule. Everyone has problems. My situation could certainly be worse and, I know better than to think that the internet cares whether or not the world seems to want to use me as its personal punching bag.

When I write this blog, I like to talk about happy things or ways to see problems in the light instead of the dark. I like to show the world the chipper side of me because honestly, no one wants to read about someone who lives their life thinking the glass is half full.

But, my life is not perfect.

It’s easy to read this blog and think, oh, her life is good. She studied in England. She rock climbs. She’s in college. She has money to spend on makeup. And I do live a good life, but my world is just as flawed as yours. I fail. I trip. I spill stuff on my clothes. I am not a curly haired cyborg who sits behind a computer and spends her life obsessing over which eye shadow to wear next.

And I am writing this because I feel that the blogging community as a whole has made a rule that it’s not okay to be negative – at all. Bloggers are expected to be these flawless human beings who pretend that their world is brimming with positivity 24/7 when I am willing to argue that some of us are just trying to keep it all together.

I try really hard in life. I am a hard worker and a good friend. I am loyal and smart but, I am not perfect. My life is not perfect. If you read this blog and think that my life is fields of sunshine and daisies, you’ve got it wrong. Some days I just want to curl up and never leave my bed, but I keep going. Isn’t that what all of us do? And if you can say that you never feel the urge to just say – screw this – than please fill me in on your secret.

My point is that – I am not perfect. Despite how much eye shadow I own or how much money I can spend on clothes – I have as many problems as the next person. Bloggers are humans, not robots. Just because someone is posting about drinking smoothies, traveling across the country, or waking up at 5 a.m. to do yoga does not mean that their life is somehow devoid of the problems that each of us face.

It’s easy to project what we think about someone without finding out the real story. How many times has a friend approached you with a problem and, you find yourself wondering how you never noticed that anything was wrong? It’s harder to deal with reality than relying on constructions that we form for other people with or without their consent.

I urge you to consider the masks that people wear in life and the internet. I urge you to think hard about the “perfect” people in your life and ask yourself if you are really, honestly, looking. I urge you to take each blog with a grain of salt, to avoid comparing yourself to a perfect construction that has come to represent only a small portion of someone’s reality. But most importantly, I urge you to be kind to yourself.

This life is short and, there are a lot of hills to climb. Every person on this planet has problems so before you bury what you are feeling, consider talking to one of the other millions of people on this planet – one of whom has probably walked a similar path. You will never know the truth about someone unless you ask to them.

You might be surprised what you find.

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12 thoughts on ““Perfect” Bloggers

  1. Bird April 18, 2014 / 9:16 am

    I didn’t know the blogging rule about Keeping It Happy. I blogged through a separation from my husband, and for about a year there, I wrote some pretty dark, sad stuff. I did however, punctuate my way through that horrible experience with some drunk posts, drunk/ambien posts, and the occasional hysterical laughter over dumb crap post. It was pathetic back then, but I laugh at them now. Usually I write humor, and I had a follower chew me out in the comments and then go away. I felt like a real loser. I couldn’t write happy crap, though, so he just made me feel a tiny bit worst. In his place, though, I gained a crazy number of followers who could relate to what I was saying.
    I find more people writing about their real lives, with the real problems than not. They tend to have more followers too, because there is something comforting about knowing you are not the only person going through some pretty crappy stuff.

    • Sam April 23, 2014 / 8:05 am

      You’re right. I feel like people are more willing to connect with someone online if they feel like they are being honest versus contrived. Plus, everyone loves a bit of drama. ;)

  2. Mended Wheels April 18, 2014 / 10:57 am

    Agreed! We do all try and stay positive so often, I think mostly because we don’t want to be the EMO blog. Personally, I enjoy the truthful blogs better. I LOVED seeing a post from a blogger on how to make a lightbox for taking photos, and then she showed the rest of the room and it was a flipping mess! I was like HA!!!!! See!!!! Not everyone has it all together!

    The internet is the perception we give other people and not always reflective of reality, although personally, I try to talk about both.

    For you, keep your head up. We’ve all been kicked around.

    • Sam April 23, 2014 / 8:02 am

      Thanks. :) I think that seeing a not so happy side of a blogger every once in awhile makes them seem more human. The happy 24/7 thing can get boring quickly.

  3. iMax April 18, 2014 / 11:11 am

    very well said… and a problem we must all have, I think. hope things are on the up for you xX

    • Sam April 23, 2014 / 8:01 am

      Thank you ;)

  4. AlleyHope April 18, 2014 / 3:24 pm

    There’s been a picture floating about the interwebs recently that says “never compare your behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” and I think that’s very true. We want to show our best bits on Facebook, Instagram, our blogs but no one’s life is like that all the time.

    I hope things turn around for you soon, bad times will pass. xx

    • Sam April 23, 2014 / 8:01 am

      That’s true! I never really thought about it in terms of Facebook but, you’re right in that people only post the best parts of their life on there. And if someone does complain a lot, people get annoyed!

  5. Jen April 20, 2014 / 6:00 pm

    Hugs. I’ve always felt the same pressure to present that “perfect” front to the world, especially because there are so many amazing blogs out there that seem to have the ideal lives! But I know no one is without hardships and struggles, and like the rest of the commenters here, I take those picture perfect posts with a grain of salt. We’re only human, we’re bound to be sloppy and feeling like crap every once in awhile.

    I hope everything will work itself out in the end. I’ve admired you and your blog ever since I started following you and I’m proud of how you’ve grown your readership! You inspire me with your dedication and discipline! Just hang in there. :)

    • Sam April 23, 2014 / 8:00 am

      Thanks, Jen. I can’t believe you moved blogs! I was confused for a second. ;) It’s a bummer that we all feel that we have to hide all the bad stuff all the time. Sometimes really opening up to other people is the best way to connect with them.

      • Jen April 23, 2014 / 7:49 pm

        I really needed a new start, and I like my new domain name, haha.

        Has things started to work themselves out for you now? :)

  6. Running4two April 23, 2014 / 2:59 pm

    It’s good to know that we aren’t alone and that we all have some struggles we are going through. Keep your head up and tomorrow is a new day…that’s how I get through a particularly tough day. I’m at the “does anybody really care what I have to say” stage with blogging now. I love to do it, but does anybody really care? I sure hope so. :-)

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