I have been wondering if I want to continue blogging anymore. It used to be that I was filled with all these ideas and things to write about but lately, I have just been watching the cursor blink in empty Word documents. My life has changed a lot over these past few weeks.
Suddenly, I am a “real” person. The idea that I do not have to return to college next month is so liberating that I want to do the electric slide in my PJs. I use coupons. I iron my pants. I go to work. I climb rocks. I use reusable bags.
This is the real deal, people.
I also have had some not great times these past few months.
I was in a pretty awful car accident and, I was so petrified of other cars afterwards that I broke down in tears on three separate occasions while driving different places. Honestly, I didn’t even start consistently holding the minimum speed limit again until last month. Yep. #needforspeed
Then, I got a flat tire in my two-week old, brand new car and had to perform an emergency stop on the side of the interstate. Luckily, the amazing and fabulous public service that is the Maryland Transportation Authority (MDTA) Emergency Patrol found me and changed my tire for me (tire changing is not a skill of mine).
I also almost didn’t graduate from college because a professor in England gave me a F as my final grade and, I spent weeks fighting it only to end up with a very, very low C (but, I graduated with a 3.73 GPA anyway (so suck it Professor Jerk Face)).
Then, I made the pretty rough decision to let go of a long-term friendship that wasn’t working anymore and was reminded how much it sucks to lose one of your best friends.
Some bad shit has gone down this year but, I’m still here.
I survived. And, if in a two month period I can survive: a car accident, a flat tire on the highway, a failing grade, and letting go of my best friend, than I can do this.
And maybe after all, I do still have something to say.
I want to talk to you about what a roller coaster life can be and how even when you think you can’t make it, you do and you will. I want to tell you about how surprisingly fun it can be to eat pizza in a parking lot at 10 o’clock on a weeknight using your friend’s trunk as the table. I want to talk to you about life, beauty, feminism, rock climbing, and half marathon training.
So, after three months of wishy-washy posting, a bout of wondering what-the-hell-am-I-doing-with-my-life?, and the new car smell in my ride slowly but distinctly fading, I remember what I want to write about.
tl;dr – I’m back.